Romancipation is based on the following key foundational concepts:
Boundaries
Identify what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable.
Set boundaries by exploring your limits.
Communicate your boundaries to others.
Respect other people’s boundaries.
Recognize that boundaries can evolve.
Accept that boundaries can change with the person or relationship type.
Personal Responsibility
Acknowledge that you control your behavior (what you do and/or say).
Realize that it is self-imposed.
Accept that there are consequences to your behavior (positive, negative or neutral).
Understand your motivation for your behavior: how your feelings (needs, wants, urges and desires) fuel your goal.
Recognize the intent behind your behavior: what you are trying to accomplish.
Communication
Be able to express your feelings or explain your thoughts.
Prefer in-person communication for sensitive/emotional issues.
Develop a clear, non-hostile style that successfully lets another person understand your perspective.
Reject defensiveness as a response.
Learn to actively listen when another person is communicating.
Take time to process what you are hearing before responding.
Observe facial cues, body language and tone.
Ask thoughtful questions that target the topic you wish to discuss.
Begin conversations with general, open ended-questions (i.e. would you like to have children?) before you narrow the focus (i.e. would you like to have children with me?) and then finally be specific (i.e. would you like to have children with me in the next year?).
Give the person the opportunity to fully answer by offering time and space if necessary.
Accountability
Take ownership and be willing to answer to your partner for any outcomes caused by your behavior and/or choices.
Feel an obligation to the relationship or partner.
Be willing to explain your actions or decisions.
Offer commitment and stick to the agreed upon terms.
Empathy
Develop the ability to see another person’s perspective even if you do not agree with it.
Allow another person’s perspective to inform your own.
Respect another person’s feelings even if you do not share or understand the reason behind the feelings.
It is a part of validation.
It should be reciprocal in a relationship.
Acceptance
Offer yourself and your partner the opportunity to make mistakes.
Understand your own limitations as well as your partner’s.
Allow people to have a different perspective than your own.
Understand that not everything will work out the way you originally intended.
Acceptance does not include dangerous or abusive behavior.
Respect
Respect is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, more so than love.
It must be a mutual feeling.
Respect must be earned and not automatically given.
Respect is never instantaneous in a romantic relationship.
When you admire someone, you are more willing to listen and react appropriately.
Appreciate your partner for who they are and what they bring to the relationship.
Focus on the treatment more than the words.
Trust
It should never be automatic or demanded.
Trust must be earned through consistent and thoughtful behavior.
Without trust, there is no chance for honesty or open communication.
Trust is based on vulnerability, reliability and shared confidences between two people.
For trust to develop, boundaries cannot be violated.
Each person must feel safe and protected in the relationship.
Trust is easily lost and very difficult to regain.
